Robbins Ramblings: 2007

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Reflection

Final Reflection

Part 1 – Thinking and Writing

Why I chose these pieces for my BLOG. I chose my pieces by how they made me feel and the personal connection I had to them. I really struggled with writing during my Upstate Writing experience because my family is dealing with the recent death of my brother. I had a hard time organizing my thoughts, expressing myself and writing about topics that were not sad. My three writing craft techniques that I have used in my pieces are in red ink.

My first piece of poetry “Solitude” was written while we were visiting Carl Sandburg’s home. I was sitting by the lake lost in my on solitude (hence the name). I was trying to show instead of tell the reader about the peace I found sitting at the shore with the fish jumping around me. I sat there for some time lost in thought about my brother and how unfair his life was. I attempted to reflect my feelings in the poem. The beginning of the poem was about the scenery and atmosphere but then it developed into how life passes us by.

My second piece was called “Strangers in the Night” based on a picture that we wrote about in a demo. I have never written anything like that before so when I finished it no one was more surprised then me. I really liked the way that I drew the reader into the story and then at the end went in a totally different direction. I received many positive comments on this story and I feel that it was my best piece of work so far. I was trying to hook the reader into thinking they knew what was going to happen and then surprise them. I have read many short stories like this and tried it out for myself. The connections between my thinking and writing are shown a lot in “Strangers in the Night”. By writing from the point of view of the girl and her feelings the reader does not know much about the guys feelings until the end. One of the comments made on the eAnthology was that it was kinda like the guy waving at the girl and when she waves back she realizes that he was waving at his girlfriend behind her. By using a surprise ending it caught the reader off guard and usually made them laugh.

My third piece called “In a Hurry” was an attempt on my part to inject some humor into my writing. I was hearing all kind of funny stories from other people and I wanted to try some humor. This was a memoir for me and I attempted to allow the reader into my personal struggle of coming back to the south after being gone for 14 years. I created this piece during a morning journaling session where Kris had us sequence the events of the story and then pick from the middle to begin it. I hope the reader could relate to my frustration and my reflection about the internal struggle between my northern and southern side.

My professional piece was an application to present at the SCCTE Conference. I wrote my abstract piece as my description to my proposal. I wanted to hook the reader at the beginning of my abstract which is why I ask a question, one that I already knew the answer to. All teachers need more time during the day to teach. This is why it is important to integrate as much as possible. I gave a short description about what they would learn in my demo and I also explained how it would help their students. I felt that it was important for them to see where their students would benefit so they could decide of this was the write demo for them. I want to present a demo that would be helpful to other teachers and that they can learn from and take back to their classrooms.
Part 2 – Process of Revision

I struggled with my process of revision because I did not get a lot of feedback off of the anthology website. I hyper linked my writing back to the comments and you can see I did not have a lot to work with.

My two pieces of poetry were very simple. The one comment given to me was that I could go into more detail about the surroundings but I like that they are short. I wanted to keep them to the point, possible toward the whimsical side. They came from the point of view of someone sitting in the woods and absent mindedly observing nature. Someone whose mind is taking in the beauty around her but is also consumed by her own thoughts.

My professional piece is a combination of my abstract combined with a more in depth look at my demonstration. I did change it some based on feedback I received. My first sentence was “Do you ever feel that you cram science and social studies facts into your student’s brains and then never use them again? “ I really did not like the sound of that sentence because I don’t think I had good word choice and it was very negative. I revamped it with “Teachers are you always looking for more time to teach? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to integrate social studies and science with writing?” I knew I wanted to start out asking a question but the first attempt did not flow very well. I really like my second version.

The one piece that I did revise more then any of the others is my “Strangers in the Night”. I wrote this during Laurie’s demo and worked on revising it all day. It wasn’t until later that afternoon that I was told I had to save all of my revisions. Oops. I did change the font because it did look young considering the type of genre. I also changed some of the words the morning I wrote it but now I can not remember which ones.

The last piece that I worked on is called “In a Hurry”. The only useful comments I received has to do with grammar. I am not sure if it flows as well as I would like. I have played with it but I am still unsure if I have it right. I liked the ending but I don’t know if my storytelling came out like I would like. There is still work to be done here.

Part 3 – Learning from your Classmates

Upstate Writing as been one of the hardest classes I have taken. I have struggled during this class for many reasons. The recent death of my brother has left me heart broken and it has been very hard for me to give all that I have needed to give to excel in this class. I have also struggled with my own inexperience of only teaching language arts for a year. I truly felt lost and overwhelmed at the beginning of this class. I have to honestly say that I have learned so much. I think the whole class and I was totally entranced with Natalia’s voice and tone that was reflected in her writing. The humor in Angie’s “Fatulent’s, Erika’s “Typical Me” and Cathy’s “The Scream” left me rolling. I absolutely love hearing funny pieces. It is always enjoyable to be caught off guard or surprised when humor pops up unexpectedly. I only wish I could do as easily as it seems others can. One of my overall favorites was Rebecca Smith’s writing about her families personal experience dealing with her father’s accident. I was so drawn into her story. What a great story teller you are. Through the last three weeks I have learned so much about writing. Coming into this class without a strong background in writing I was very insecure with my writing abilities. Participating in the Writing Project has really opened my eyes to the possibilities that I have within myself. My attitude toward writing has changed and all of the invaluable lessons I have learned have made me a better teacher, reader, and writer.

Spanish Moss

Gently swaying in the balmy breeze
Wispy tendrils soft and flowing
Scattered like tinsel on a tree
Draping the branches in a lingering hold
Hanging on to its old southern charm
Enveloped in mystery and hidden treasures

SCCTE 2008: Teaching and Creating South Carolina Writers
Program Proposal for Teachers
DUE October 1, 2007
Name of Lead Presenter Robbin Surfus

Teachers are you always looking for more time to teach? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to
integrate social studies and science with writing? This is a cross-curricular activity that
can be used in science, social studies, literature, poetry, and creative writing. My students
were asked to write from the perspective of an animal describing itself, its adaptations,
and/or its habitat. This demo will guide you with an interactive pre-writing activity that will help you integrate writing into your content areas. By helping your student’s write about expository content within a narrative structure, they can delve into subject matter in
unusual ways and thereby enhance both content knowledge and writing skills. When teachers incorporate writing across the curriculum, student’s benefit in three ways: they have a
resource for better understanding content; they practice a technique which aids retention;
and they begin to write better. Participants will learn how to take students on a writing
journey that allows them to use their newfound knowledge, and personification to write from a different point of view. Students will create non-fiction writing and/or poetry that is filled with voice and creativity.

In a Hurry

In a Hurry

“Oh no, she did not just yell at me.” It took a moment to comprehend what she had said. Then I told my husband that I had to let him go. I had called him just a moment ago to tell him about this rude lady who was in front of me at the ATM. Pulling up a few minutes earlier as usual I was in a hurry. I felt like I had given this person the common courtesy I would expect. I didn’t pull up on her bumper. I left plenty of distance and I had even waited patiently for a few minutes. “Maybe she didn’t know I was back here.” It’s possible she didn’t see me.” I observed the car for a moment and realized that she had just been sitting there. There was no movement. Her arm never even came out of the window. “What in the world is she doing? I don’t have time for this.”

I impatiently gave the horn just a little friendly toot, always remembering my polite southern heritage. Moving back down to the south after living in the north for 14 years, I feel that I have two angels on my shoulder. My southern angel, who was raised with sweet southern hospitality and my northern angel who is outspoken and impatient. I consider myself a half-breed, a mutt. I was no longer southern but I really wasn’t northern either. Lost in thought for a moment I didn' hear the words that she yelled at me, I just heard the ugly tone of her voice. I stuck my head out of my window and yelled some rude comment back to the lady. I honestly don’t know what I said. Adrenaline was flowing through my veins from my anger and acting totally out of character. To my disbelief I heard “well if you come up here and help me I can get done faster”.

Stepping out of my car with extreme irritation reflected in my face I marched up to the car. “What do you need help with?” When I looked in her window my anger deflated like a hot air balloon. How could I be rude to her, she reminded me of my own mother when I was trying to teach her how to use an ATM. That older generation that seem to struggle with the fast pace of technology, always afraid they are going to push the wrong button. As I was standing beside this unknown ladies car I felt ashamed of myself. My mother raised me better then that. I would pay my penitence by teaching her how to use the ATM. Verbally I gave her instructions politely looking away when she entered her PIN. Finally, after the third try I swallowed my impatience and sweetly asked her for her PIN. Yes ma’me automatically came out of my mouth punching the keys, trying to tamper down my impatience. I went through the steps which I could probably have completed blindfolded and out popped the money.

As I turned to leave I heard her say, "I'm sorry for being ugly to you." Of course I said that I was sorry too. Then she siad "the next time we meet let's be friends". My respons was just a "yes ma'me". Chuckling as I walked back to my car I realized that in the end I was born and bred southern. You may go and live somewhere else for a while but you never really lose your southern values. It just must be a southern thang.